Monday, May 17, 2010

Breathe Me

I graduated on Saturday from college with some of the loveliest people on the planet. After the ceremony, I went out to lunch with my roommate and her boyfriend, visited my professors one last time, and hung out with some of my besties for one last time.

It was the loneliest feeling, being alone in the dorm. All of my world packed into 5 suitcases. Some of that world I had mailed home including sentimental pieces like my birthday tiara and some copies of The Word that had my story published in it. There was no furniture to surround me, no other people in the room, no warm light from little desk lamps, or collages made placed in the room.

How could I have stopped the tears from flooding my face? I sat in the bathroom and wept as quietly as I could, because this is the end of these moments. This is the beginning of something else, somewhere that wasn't that campus, someones who would be new to me, and somewhat everything I imagined falling into place.

I wonder about the people we will become.

Who we will we be. Who will we see. How will we look in a year or so.

There is no doubt in my mind that my friends will go on to the greatest of things.
My roommates and some of my other junior friends will continue to be at the university for another year and in one year's time, I'll be sitting there in the bleachers watching them graduate, excited and ready to take piles of pictures.

A picture at a party of my very closest girlfriends...Randi, me, Sara, and Stacy.

These three I'm going to miss more than anything. They're just such remarkable girls and we've all been through so much together.

Sometimes when I look at them, I get the briefest flash of what their futures look like in my head. I see each of them smiling, laughing, being beautiful, and fulfilled forever.

Whenever I feel lonely, I listen to music that reminds me of my friends. One song in particular that always makes my heart thoughtful is Sia's Breathe Me. If you ever watched Six Feet Under, it's the song that plays during the montage in the series finale. The finale that every time I watch it, I burst into tears in. It's a gorgeous song that says so much. I think you should listen to it...

Love to you all,


Claire Kiefer said...

That final scene in Six Feet Under is killer, and that song will forever remind me of it! Congrats on graduating! I'd love to read some of your writing . . . I majored in creative writing in college (though I did poetry). Also: that pic at the top makes me think of Sex and the city. :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your graduation! :)


Roland D. Yeomans said...

The Band of Sisters will always live in your heart.

Life is like an escalator, unfolding and taking us up higher, leaving the familiar floor behind us.

You are obviously intelligent, talented, and loving. New adventures await you. Strange paths beckon before you. You will find companions on the paths you take.

None like those you bonded with in the university. In life the struggle for job, identity, and direction demands so much of you that friendships must be garnered on the run. But I sense in you the will and the drive to make good friends.

French-born American author, Anais Nin wrote :

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

May you always find the light to know where to place your next step, Roland

Ally said...

Congrats! The world is yours. I would do anything to go back in time and start over. View each job and boss as a learning experience. Youth is truly on your side.

I remember my first real job out of college at a teen magazine in Manhattan. I will never forget my first few days there. Walking around the city looking up at the tall buildings, thinking I was on my way ... Enjoy every minute of it.

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Congratulations! College was a roller coaster, heart wringing, life changing experiences kinda time. But you my dear have such exciting things ahead of you - with your ambition and talent, it's going to be good! Definitely hang onto your friends and these moments!

Anonymous said...

dearest congratulations and all the best for your wonderful future! greets!

Dancing Branflake said...

Congratulations! I know that some people have a hard time and some people thrive from the freedom after college.

I actually live in Sacramento but I love San Francisco.

Martina Voigt-Schmid said...

Congrats! I'm so happy for you that you had a good time with your friends! It's always strange if a chapter in life ends ... but then, life's a journey that never stops, and i'm sure the future's got something nice for xou in store ;)

Anonymous said...

Wow, congratulations! That is a major accomplishment and I know that you must be so excited.

drollgirl said...

onward and upward, girlie! leaving college might be tough, but i PROMISE you that you are embarking on good and important things with your next steps in life! i am excited for you!

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

CONGRATS! Great pic of you the quote from The Hangover for Wizard of Oz too.

English Rose ♥ said...

CONGRATULATIONS HEATHER!! SO PROUD OF YOU!! This post made me sad as i'm starting Uni later this year and I already know what you mean but I just know you'll be fine!

Merci beaucoup for your lovely comment darling =]

Sorry for the late reply!

Stay safe and chic ma chérie,

English Rose x

Li. said...

Congratulations on your graduation!!
You look great with your friends! :)

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Congrats on graduating! Oh gosh this post brought back a lot of fond (and sad) memories of my college graduation. I truly believe college is where you meet the most special and long-lasting friends of your life. At least it was in my case (and yours too, apparently). It's also the end of an era in our're in the real world now. Things are going to be a LOT different. Not bad, but different...sigh.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

PS. You and your friends are gorgeous, by the way. ;)

Jo said...

Congratulations on your graduation!! :)

I remember these feelings you describe. Graduation is such a beautiful and emotional time.

Here's to the new adventures that lie ahead!!

Btw, LOVE Sia's Breathe Me!

FASHIONconfectionairy said...

Congratualtions, I'm sure it's been a great journey. I myself am about to graduate from my K-8school, I know it's not quite as big of an ordeal as your graduation, but I have been with these people for nine years, it's starting to get hard to deal with. I reckon I will miss even the people that annoyed me, and won't see them ever again.

Dionne said...

Awwww.... congrats on graduating! I totally understand all the emotion you must be feeling - but now it's on to the next chapter! Did you ever watch that TV show Felicity? I think it did a great job of summing up the emotions of finishing college.

Phoenix said...

There are those of us who believe that you're gonna go on to do some pretty damned awesome things too...

It looks like these girls are your family. In which case you are never alone :)

Andrew Green said...

I remember my graduation. I couldn't wait to get the heck out of there.