Wednesday, March 18, 2009

All I Desire. Temptation

I want it all
I want it all
I want it all.....and I want it now!
-Queen "I Want It All"

I started thinking earlier today about royalty. Kings, queens, crowns. I'm in love with The Tudors, this show on Showtime about King Henry the 8th and his six wives. Though the outcome is nothing suprising since it remains somewhat true to historical fact, it still remains scandalous and filled to the brim with gorgeous Elizabethan clothing.
Then I thought about rock stars and how they are very much like royalty. Idolized by millions, their every move speculated and scrutinized. They even get knighted.
Rock 'n Roll Royalty. Not a new concept by any means but still badass.

The girl in the photo reminds me of the heiress to the rock fortune. She's feminine with her dress and yards of pearls, urban in her blazer, and still looks haughty enough with her bangs and the way her arm is positioned as though to say Yeah, I know who my father is. Doesn't mean I'll be like him. Now fuck off, I need to go outside and just be.

Rules of Royalty and Rockers:
1) The Puffed Sleeve
Anne Boleyn donned them. Dolce and Gabbana's Spring '09 line is flooded with them. Hell, even Anne of Green Gables obsessed about a blue dress with puff sleeves.

2) Bold Blazer and Skintight Pants
Grab the roaming eyeball with a vibrant silk.
The pants really speak for themselves...most singers look like they have been poured into their pants.

3) The Statement Shoe and Hair
The statement shoe is all over the place this year. If you ever wanted to don a pair that pushed every button known to man, the time is NOW!
Hair has evolved so much, it seems it will never stop. Would you really want it to? After all, it is the rock stars that inspire us to self-dye our hair at 13 with some Manic Panic.

Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue and model Kelly Grey teamed up this year to bring Royal Underground, a mix of royalty and rock.
I was really excited about this line but unfortunately, it has not lived up to my expectations. The shirts are rather dull i.e. a skull, the word "Burnout" on a plain white tee.
REALLY? Was this the best you could do? It's so, so... ordinary!
Sell it at Hot Topic rather than Neiman Marcus. The kids will appreciate it so much more.

A trench from Royal Underground's collection that is pretty. Not completely awful but do a few more shades and we'll see where it goes.

Hmm, let's see, we've got a woman's blouse.
Bleh, it totally sucks! Let's drop the neckline to show off the goods. Guys will totally want to give it to their girlfriends and girls will think it's really sexy and hot.
Ahh, excellent idea Mr. Sixx!
And that's not all! We can put in a whole bunch of cross necklaces in silver to show just how badass this hot woman is!
Crucifixes, how genius! But we have to sell them separately of course.
Duh! Oh man, this is killer! We can do a commercial with her strutting at a car lot on the hood of a Mustang.
And we'll play Def Leppard in the background! Sexy, huh?
Uh no man, we're doing "Timebomb" by my band Motley Crue. I mean, hello, I'm Nikki Sixx remember?
-An imaginary conversation between Nikki and Neiman Marcus chairman Ken Downing.

Sid and Nancy, gotta love them. As much drama as King Henry and Anne Boleyn but ended much more tragically.

And because this pair is so bombworthy.
Love to you all,

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