This week I started to notice a pink pattern on my Tumblr. Observe:
Peonies. One of my favorite flowers actually. No problems here.
Pink wine. One of my favorite shades for alcohol, along with clear and red and that amber shade you find in Manhattans and Red Bulls and vodka, if you mix it just right. Again, no complaints.
What we have here is a young woman attempting to push a huge pile of pink wrapped presents. And since the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (it deserves the caps, trust me) and Breast Cancer Awareness month have come and gone, this can only be pointing one arrow directly to the next holiday approaching that uses up the Tickle-Me-Pink crayon to a nub...
"Valentine's Day is the lone major holiday of February, expected to tide us over until St. Patrick's Day in March. On this day, we can watch those in love celebrate their love by buying chocolate even though their New Year's Resolution said otherwise and watching a sappy romance flick starring the likes of Julia Roberts, Matthew McConaughey and Meg Ryan."
-actual quote from an article I wrote 3 years ago for my community college newspaper. It got published.
The girls I work with in my copywriting department at work are really sweet, genuinely kind people. One in particular, Renee, is one of the nicest girls I've had the pleasure of meeting. About a week ago, she gave me a Valentine's Day card that she made herself, a pop-up card at that. It came accompanied by a little note.
Treat yourself this Valentine's Day to something special-you don't need a man to complete you!
It's important to point out that at work, I'm a token. Token single girl in a sea of long-term relationship and married girls. Society loves to point this out and tries its very best to guide me in the direction of Noah's Ark pairings, but I'm really good about fighting and digging my feet into the ground against this belief.
This isn't to say I don't believe in love. Of course I do. People who don't believe in love...not sure about those types. I'm just a different type of romantic than most girls. As a little girl, I idolized Cinderella and had this dream (the sleeping kind) very early on that I met my Prince Charming. However, I'm bipolar in this belief in the fact that I not only thought prom was stupid and refused to participate in it, but I also do not aspire to get married or have children. My parents have been married my entire life and the longest relationship I ever had lasted 3 months (not even that). In high school, a girl I barely knew diagnosed me with having "commitment issues" and damnit if she wasn't right. I kind of imagined that the ole love life might get better in college, but haha, did that ever not happen. I mean, look at the quote I wrote up there. Still sums up my feelings for this day 3 years later.
With less than a week to go before I head off to a very big wedding celebration, and about 4 more months until the lease is up on my lovely apartment, I've been doing some thinking. Thinking that has been growing steadily more thoughtful over the past few months. If you know me, you might know that when I discuss "thinking" or "doing thoughtful thinking" it's related to me making a big decision in my life.
My thought, for now, is that I want to move overseas for some time.
Scratch the "for now" bit. I think it's fair to say I've wanted this for a really long time. And no, I wouldn't be moving because there aren't any guys in my life here or because of petty arguments with family members or friends or even our current economic state (you really can't escape debt, no matter what foreign shores you decide to take citizenship in). I've often felt like a big puzzle with a bunch of pieces missing. I found some of them when I was in college, but not all of them and deep down, I knew I wouldn't find them all. It just isn't possible. But the fact is, I found some which is incredible to me and led me to pursue more dreams I had in my heart I didn't think I would get to.
And here we are, single, solo, but still very happy nonetheless.
My theory is I'm a lot like Elizabeth Gilbert of the Eat, Pray, Love book fame. Her journey was to get divorced and out of an unhealthy relationship and travel the world for a better perspective and self-discovery.
Though my journey is much more different in the sense that I'm not married, definitely broke and should not be in pursuit of living overseas when I can barely afford to live in my own seas, and not in pursuit of spiritual awakening. I had that already and I call it Arcade Fire's Funeral album. You're welcome.
Still, self-discovery via double-decker buses! Picking up more of the puzzle pieces to completing a full Heather with at Big Ben! Is it obvious I crave London the most? England is where the majority of my ancestors came from so it's only natural to feel a bond, a tie, a love for this place I've never been but feel I need to be at if I want to unlock my true self. Something extraordinary waits for me there. It's the kind of feeling that goes through your bones and swims through your bloodstream.
I have a gut feeling that this journey, should I go all the way through with it, is going to be a labor of love. It will try and test me and push me to my very limit (though currently I'm not far from it now). Love is patient though and as many of my friends will tell you, I'm a patient person who's willing to see the best in people and give them a try and second chances.
And of course, in the event of any life journey I take on, full makeout details with hot guys with accents will be recorded for your reading pleasure. Once more, you're welcome.
Just doin' my part for all the singles out there.
Whether you refer to it as V-Day (in tribute to D-Day), V.D. ( a hilarious sex gag joke never steers us wrong) or S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day...oh c'mon now people, this is starting to get ridiculous), you can't go wrong with funny cards. See above and below for inspiration.
Choo-choo choosing you.
Love to you all,