Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Weekend in Vegas

This past weekend I went to Vegas for the first time with some friends. I don't know about you but the first thing I think when I think Vegas, aside from the obligatory "woo!", is the movie The Hangover. And while I wasn't expecting a weekend of waking up with a tiger in my bathroom, a tooth knocked out, and a baby (Carlos) in the closet, I guess I was expecting some pretty wild and crazy moments to happen. I was also expecting to really, really like the city of Las Vegas.

I can sum everything up in a bunch of words all strung together in one sentence:

hot loud sweltering slutty tramp New York walking hours gamble margaritas Miami Vice heels Mirage Bellagio shots expensive chocolate pole dancing clubbing card tables Caesar's Palace lonely windowless shifty dudes Venetian light shows people everywhere scammers tits and ass Thunder Down Under tourists Paris bright heat MGM Grand lions pools.

It was incredibly hot outside both during the morning and the evening. We walked everywhere and everything got further and further the closer you thought you were to your destination. We walked for 7 hours on Saturday which was painful after some time but I had a super big tube cup thing filled with Miami Vice (strawberry daiquiri with pina colada mixed together so I didn't mind the heat one bit). We went EVERYWHERE. You name it, we were there. Bellagio, Caesar's Palace, MGM Grand, Paris, New York, New York. Like the champs we were, we headed back to the hotel at 9, dressed up and went to the club. Jet at the Mirage where we got in because of a guy who worked there named Charlie Brown (it's legit, I promise) who we met outside of Margaritaville.

In the line at the club, we waited about half an hour and I met a girl standing in front of us named Camilla. She was from Germany, very nice, about our age, and by herself. In Vegas! I'm all for visiting cities alone and all, but Vegas is where you bring/drag your friends and family along to. I can't imagine visiting this city by myself. It's just sketchy. You never know just who you will meet.

Which brings me to the scammer. Ugh. I promised I would leave it out of every retelling of this weekend to my friends, but we did get scammed out of 40 bucks for some smooth talking guy rambling on and on about getting us in for free and with VIP passes at Tao. So yeah, just a cautionary tale, don't give your money to random strangers promising you will meet Fergie and Pharrell Williams.

In Jet, I danced on a pole in a very short skirt with fishnets with my friends. Woo! Vegas!

But then we got off of the pole because some guys had their camera phones out, taking pictures of everything that the camera could see up our skirts.

I guess you could say I got famous in a sense because somewhere on the Interwebs, there is a picture(s) of my crouch in that club making its rounds. To that, all I can say is woo-hoo! Vegas!

Not everything that happens there stays there ;)

After dancing for hours, we headed over to the Venetian at around 3:30. Hobbling there, because none of us could hardly stand up in our heels from the combined constant walking and dancing. I was in a pissy mood because the guys at Jet were incredibly rude and disgusting. Seriously. We girls looked hot and the least they could have done was shower and dress better. Observe this conversation I had:

Disgusting Guy That I Would Never Touch in a Million Years: Wanna dance?
Me: Uh, no thanks. But hey! You can buy me a drink instead!
(I was dead serious too.)
Disgusting Guy That I Would Never Touch in a Million Years: *laughs* You can buy it yourself!
Me: Ugh!

See what I was up against? However, life at the Venetian was grand. At the bar, they gave us complimentary pretzels (the big doughy baked kind, not the little baggies of dry pretzels), and a HUGE glass of my favorite beer Stella Artois for six dollars. Our waitress was really sweet and there was a table of businessmen in suits in the table behind us who not only bought a birthday shot for one of our friends who was celebrating her 21st, but were very nice to talk to. A very good finish to a long day.

Despite everyone's best intentions, none of us were hungover in the morning. Which is a very good thing because the car ride back was nearly 8 hours long, trapped in traffic for most of the ride, and every gas station stop involved us guzzling down water because it was so hot and dry outside.

I liked Vegas, but it's definitely a 36 hour trip for me. Stay no longer than that time and leave no earlier.

In closing, I leave you with this little gem...

"What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers...well then we're shit out of luck."

Love to you all,


Margaret said...

loved reading this :D

danielle and dinosaur toes said...

your vegas recap was so funny! i have to admit, i've never been interested in going to vegas because i think it just seems so sleazy. my husband on the other hand does want to go, but lucky for me, he's afraid of flying!

danielle and dinosaur toes said...

your vegas recap was so funny! i have to admit, i've never been interested in going to vegas because i think it just seems so sleazy. my husband on the other hand does want to go, but lucky for me, he's afraid of flying!

Anonymous said...

I'm so jealous! I've never been to Las Vegas. We were scheduled to go there three years ago, but two days before our flight I ended up in hospital needing major emergency spinal surgery. Talks about a "NOT funny thing that happened on the way to Vegas". - G

drollgirl said...

well now you have done the vegas thing.

i'm not a huge fan of the vegas thing, but it is definitely an experience. and it is NOT a town to visit alone. no way! yeesh.

Diana Mieczan said...

How fun....I love that post:)...Good for you,sweetie:)

Have a wonderful afternoon and see you soon:)

ps: I am hosting a great GIVEAWAY, so please join in:) ...I bet you will love it!!!

Andrew Green said...

Never been to Vegas, but always dreamed of it....
Sound like a fun experience!

The Zhush said...

wow! Now I feel like I have been to Vegas with you! Its a serious plane ride away for me, so I would have to stay for at least the whole weekend! One day, for sure! Very fun post!

Darcy said...

i love the design on your site now, so cuuute!

Kristin Quinn said...

Hahaha!!! I was just there a few months ago. I can only handle one night. It sounds like you had a little adventure... and getting scammed, and pole dancing and meeting douchebags. Yes that seems about right!!

English Rose ♥ said...

Such a funny post - i've never felt the desire to go to Vegas but I adored the Hangover!

Merci beaucoup for your wonderful comments and support darling, it really means a lot ♥

Have an immense weekend dearest =]

Stay safe and chic ma chérie,
English Rose x

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Me, I dream of traveling to New Zealand ... although I do not expect to see Cate Blanchett or Gladriel.

My luck I will run into zombie sheep from that "so terrible it's funny" horror movie, BLACK SHEEP.

Gotta be careful of those camera phones and the internet!

Claire Kiefer said...

Haha, I love visiting Vegas! I'm with you though that a long weekend is good enough, but I think that Caesar's Palace and gambling and long buffets and if it's summer, pools are super fun for a few days. :) Plus, free drinks in the casinos, woo hoo!

The baby named Carlos was absolutely my favorite part of The Hangover. Amazingly funny. Especially in the Bjorn . . . and when they had him buckled into a seatbelt in the car like a regular dude. omg!

Lacey in the City said...

It seems you and I have similar feelings on Vegas! I used to live in LA, so have been quite a few times, and I can only stay for a certain number of hours before I am just d o n e. The air is so stale, the people are generally low-class...phew. Glad you got to experience it though!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Wow. Sounds like you had an...interesting time in Vegas!

I'm glad you had fun despite the bad moments. I'm horrified some asshole scammed you that way. That really sucks. It's so hard to know who to trust when you're a tourist, especially in places like Vegas. I bet some locals make good money playin' innocent people like that...

Oh well. Maybe the next time you go, it will be more exciting. Tiger & all. ;)

Bathwater said...

I love Vegas. I didn't find Jet worth the time or money though. I don't understand why all the girls suddenly want to dance on the pole.