Thursday, March 18, 2010

She's Spinning, She's Spinning!

"She" in the title is me.

When I was a little girl, I used to spin really quickly in a circle just to achieve that sweet dizzy feeling that made the world stumble with you and shift down to your level. I did this in the house, outside of our house, and out on the busy sidewalks with my parents.

"She's spinning, she's spinning!" My Dad would exclaim, and for years after, this became one of his favorite ways to describe me as I grew momentarily disoriented from the constant turn, turn, turn of my revolution.

On Tuesday evening, it was time to get Disoriented again. Senior Disorientation was held at Bogart's restaurant which is basically a dinner for the senior class of 2010 filled with lectures about life post grad from alumni. A life more ordinary and less extraordinary from the way the speakers presented it.

There was a breakdown about bills that was extremely unrealistic (apts. were right on, but I've already begun paying my student loan back and it is in no way less than $150 a month), discussions about health care plans, and that we should begin socking away two grand a month for retirement. Never mind that most people really cannot do that on a beginner's salary and if you want to have kids that grows even more difficult.

Also...resumes are looked at for a total of 30 seconds, and every job you apply for has at least 1000 other people applying for the same position. You should never date a guy under 26 because they are apparently gold diggers (while I highly wonder where they picked up that sort of factoid, I believe it), and your friends will no longer live right next door to you!!! Yes, they included 3 exclamation points.

As an aside, a woman who lectures on the art of dressing professionally ought to do so for such a dinner, don't you think? One of the speakers was not well dressed for the occasion at all, the one who rattled on about suits and ties and skirts.

You know how this made me feel?

I wanted to jump out of my chair, abandon the truly terrible pasta, and run for it.

Seriously. In order not to fall down the morose hole, I joked with my girlfriends at the table about anything I could to avoid feeling depressed. Eventually though, I did something better and just tuned the speakers out (not hard at all to do, the sound quality was terrible).

I don't like to be talked down to and will not tolerate having anyone tell me how my life is supposed to feel, to be, how I should act in society. When I defy these thoughts, with a joke or express the way I really feel, some people tend to look at me almost sympathetically or worse, contempt.

"Oh Heather. She truly lives with her head in the clouds."
is the sympathetic response.

"God, I hate it when Heather starts running her mouth on life. She clearly has no idea what the real world is like. I know. I've been there. She's just a spoiled girl who doesn't understand. Maybe when things don't work out for her and when people hurt her enough, she'll get it through her skull once and for all." is the contempt.

I'm okay with these thoughts because I do know people have them about me. I even think them about myself sometimes, but deep down, I know things will be okay.

Here's how I would have run the show if I had any say in any event like this.

Disorientation is an ugly name to refer to "growing up" as. I hate the name and in my eyes, that is the first thing about the event that needs to go away. Throw it out and never, EVER, refer to life as being disoriented.

We are all spinning right now, and in our lives, this spinning is working just great with the right mix of friends, family, homework, and social life. In a few months, we will stay spinning, but in another direction with the world shifting in another way. Just because we're growing up doesn't mean we're losing everything!

Class of 2010, my loves, it has been an infinitely long journey that has stopped and started again in all sorts of ways. I want everyone to know that right now, right in this moment, we have everything to gain, and everything is possible.

Once we stop spinning, the world will be shaky, but after a deep breath (or two), things will realign themselves and will work out for the best.

Just be yourself and do what you makes you feel happy. I emphasize the words "happy" and "feel" because they go hand in hand. You want to pursue all of the things in life that thrill you, motivate and drive you. When you feel so strongly about what you are passionate about, everyone will be able to tell. And you will be happy! Don't work hard at something that will take you on a miserable journey to achieve. Do what you enjoy and all the world will spin you in the right way.

Oh, and as far as job interview apparel tips go, just make sure to get your suit tailored, be able to walk confidently in your heels, and ask your interviewer lots of questions. I don't know about you, but I'm far more fascinated in the lives of others than just little old me.

Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do

-4eva, The Veronicas

Love to you all,


Bijou's Style said...

it is ALWAYS important to always do what feels right and makes you happy.

great words :)


kim said...


that sounded like a terrible gathering. why do some people assume other people are total idiots?!

glad you could see through the bullshit though, sweet!

XXX, Kim

English Rose ♥ said...

How bloody awful!! This was a fantastic post heather, you absolutely just have to stay true to yourself and screw everyone else - I hate being talked down to as well!

Merci beaucoup for your lovely comment on my blog and for actually reading the post!

Stay safe and chic ma chérie,
English Rose x

{ I V Y } said...

beautiful blog !

Propoquerian said...

I knew there would come a post about this, and I'm glad for it :) maybe post flyers all over campus saying, "Depressed about DIsorientation? Visit thevodkaassylum" Of course, many would just perceive this as you telling them to drink. But, let's face it, they all do that a bunch anyways harm done.

Indigo said...

"She's spinning, she's spinning!"

Absolutely love that reference to describe you. You're not afraid to see the world through your own eyes. In this day and age that in itself is a rarity.

As for the those who wield contempt like a weapon - they don't get it. So what if life hits you upside the head, at least it will have been your choice to stand in the whirlwind and spin...(Hugs)Indigo

briannelee said...

Graduating from college is a scary and exciting time! I feel like most people aren't really prepared for what the "real world" is going to bring, but that is half the fun :)

我 moi said...

me too , I hate being talked down upon

natalie said...

Yeah, having everyone boss you around and talk down to you and tell you how you should live your life... that's just infuriating. Growing up is pretty much a spinning out of control kind of situation I suppose, right? Everything's changing so quickly! But yes, things will always end up working out in the end.

Carissa said...

oh, senior disorientation sounds awful! I've sat through my share of depressing speeches and I just think, like you, get me outta here! :)

everyone knows that life can be depressing and things can go wrong, but who wants to live with that in the forefront of their mind? you have to try to live with optimism and hope and do things that are going to make you happy. otherwise, what's the point?

yes, life will change after graduation. it takes some adjustment but it's not the end of the world. it's actually just the beginning :)

p.s. I loved spinning as a girl too. I liked to make my dress twirl. don't you wish we could keep that simple chid-like joy forever?

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

It's an exciting and crazy time and you have a great attitude about it. It'll be hard, but best of luck dear! Let that confidence shine!

MT Days & Nights said...

love the picture you posted. the first one is my favorite.

the girl in grey said...

I've come to accept everything people think about me, and they are VERY similar to what you say others perceive of you. It hurts at first, but like you said you accept it. I miss spinning, and sometimes it just helps to calm myself and put me back to down to earth again and know everything's going to be okay-drama included-I love what you shared, and everything you write I read like the Bible.

thetragicallychic said...

gee.. i think i would have faked an illness and RUN HOME! :P

Mademoiselle Chic blog said...

love that song lyrics quote!

Darcy said...

congratulations on nearing the end of this portion of your journey! u are totally gunna do great. cuz you already know what you need to...bullocks to bad pasta and bad advice.

Miss Woody said...

gorgeous pictures !